Sylvester Onyemalechi editted by coach abbeyg

5. Inability to deal with lust

Sex is in the mind. Sex is a function of the mind. A man’s thoughts create the desire for sex. If you don’t think it, you will not have the desire for it. And when there is no desire, there will be no sex act. The same way, lust which is a strong desire to have someone of the opposite sex, play with and probably have sex with the person is formed and groomed in the mind – It is a mind problem. Lust does not just go away; you have to make them go away. An understanding that it is a mind problem narrows the problem down to a manageable size.

To get rid of lust:

a. Stop feeding your mind with immoral pictures and information from pornographic films, books and lyrics of corrupted songs.

b. Watch what you think about people of the opposite sex especially the one that attracts and captivates your attention.

c. View people of the opposite sex as God’s creatures and should be admired as such. Never let sexual desires to rise within.

d. Cast sexual thoughts coming into your mind down as they rise. Rebuke the devil that is behind it and by deliberate action switch your mind to something else.

e. Temporarily separate yourself from anyone that lust is building up in your mind for. Separation will help you to overcome as you pray about it.

f. Give your thoughts daily to God in prayer asking him to sanctify and keep your thoughts clean by the Holy Spirit.

g. If it becomes difficult for you to overcome, then see your pastor for help and counseling.

6. Concentration on beauty and figure

Preoccupation with the physical anatomy and facial beauty can create sexual desires that will become difficult to control especially when you find someone that is really attractive to you. It is very dangerous to focus on such during courtship. To do that is to invite the devil to lead you into temptation. Concentrating on physical charms is dangerous. It is like one playing with fire which will eventually born you as control is lost when both of you are alone.

Stop thinking of how wonderful it will be when you make love together in marriage. Stop thinking about how you will do it together. Don’t play with such thoughts in your mind. It is dangerous to do so. Such thoughts will make you lose control of yourself when alone with the one you love.

Tit-bits to guide you and help you avoid sexual sin:

• Avoid being alone with your intended spouse or the opposite sex at odd places and times. 

• Never allow him or her sit on your lap.

• Avoid kissing and fondling of one another. A peck will lead to mouth to mouth kissing, which will lead to deeper and longer kissing, and then, fondling and then sex. One thing lead to another.

• Decide never to sleep in the house of one you are dating no matter what, even when you are out of town. Let arrangement be made for you where you will sleep when you visit. Keep your testimony.

• Decide that your spouse to be will never see your nakedness until you are married. Never undress or dress up while he or she looks on.

• Be very careful about hugging each other. Do not forget that love exists in your heart for each other and that each time you hug you are transmitting emotional current which affects your body chemistry and stirs strong sexual desires that will take the special grace of God to stop you from having sex. Be careful. Do not think I am being too rigid, I am only trying to help and save you from an act of shame that will mar your testimony and put you in a difficult and disadvantaged position in life. Many have fallen because of this kind of play.

To be continued! Look out for PART 4. You don’t want to miss it …

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