Single ladies, do you think you should trust God with your heart and and love life? Hold on to your love until you’ve read these nuggets of wisdom. You want to make sure you don’t end up as one of the statistics bouncing from one man to another. Remember, you’re not a toy to be played with.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.” ~ Proverbs 18:22.
Tell me, have you really digested those words and thought about how they apply to you? What category do you come under? Are you used goods or are you a prized possession? If you’ve let men used and abused you sexually, emotionally, financially, spiritually or like a punch bag, stop now! Go to God the restorer and let him heal and repair you from destructive baggages that’s hanging from your shoulders.
Let me tell you something. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You’re beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You are the ‘good thing‘ written about in Proverbs.
Think about this, “A prudent wife is a gift from the Lord.” What man doesn’t love to receive lovely gifts? Gifts come beautifully wrapped with a pretty bow on top. That is you! You are a special gift from God. In His own time He will present you to the one He prepared just for you. Not for anyone else! Take pride in yourself. Save yourself for your husband. Don’t give your carrot to the wolf. He’ll eat you alive. Save it for the gentle sheep. Let your husband unwrap you on the night of your honeymoon.
Wake up and smell the coffee. Love is sweet. Life should be enjoyed. But live it God’s way. Don’t drown yourself in self pity, loneliness, or confusion. Listen to God. He knows best.
1. Never ever beg – you’re worth more than that
Are you starving for affection and attention in your relationship? Does he naturally compliment you or do you always have to ask him how you look? If he makes you feel sad, ugly and unappreciated and you don’t think he sees you as the beautiful woman you are, he shouldn’t be with you. Why? He’s not right for you, that’s why.
2. Use biblical role models as examples to live by
There are lots of women of substance in the bible. They worked hard, looked after themselves and served. Their dedication, selflessness and determination led their husbands to them. Let’s look at Ruth. She was humble, hard working and intent on serving her mother-in-law. Her character and loyalty attracted Boaz’s attention. Other role models are Rachel, Rebekah and Esther.
3. Don’t let temptations get the better of you
It starts off with a hug, then a kiss and next thing you’re in each other’s arms. His hands are roaming and passions are running high. It’s easy to get carried away with your man especially if plan to get married. But don’t! Save sex for the honeymoon night. Sex can send your emotions haywire. It’s easy to confuse lust for love. Beware of the physical bonding. Don’t let sex cloud your judgement and blindly lead you down the aisle. That’s not what God wants for you.
4. In God you are completely whole
Are you one of those ladies who says, “I’m not complete without him. He makes me whole.” Well, let me clear something up for you. You don’t need a husband to make you whole. Were you broken before he came along? Did only part of you exist? You were whole before he came along. That’s because God made you whole.
Love yourself and see yourself the way God sees you. That’s the only way you’ll feel whole and complete. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am beautiful. I am complete and whole because I’m an extraordinary woman.”
5. Does your man have God in him?
Does he walk the walk and talk the talk about God and His word? Or he is a reader and not a doer? Your man should pray daily, meditate on the word and obey the voice of God. He must be able to use the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God in all circumstances. He should be a soldier in Christ by fighting spiritual battles and protect you physically.
6. What’s the motive behind the ring?
So, he went down on his knees and asked you to marry him. Did he really mean it? Make sure he’s not a serial proposer. You know, those men who fall in love with every woman they meet. They can’t help but propose and put a ring on their finger. It’s like a disease. They can’t stop themselves from doing it. Find out his motive behind the ring before saying, “I will marry you.”
7. Check out his background
What is he really like? I mean do you know him properly? Does he have a history of violence, sexual abuse, need alcohol to function, take drugs or done time in prison? If he’s got children does he take care of them? Most importantly, does he spend time with his kids and pay child maintenance? A big major check to do is find out if he’s been tested for HIV/AIDS. Not five years ago, but recently. If not, you should make sure he gets tested for you. If he refuses think twice about him. What’s he got to hide?
8. If he’s gay – let him go like hot fire!
Follow your gut instincts. Don’t stay with him if you suspect he’s gay. This is not the time to let your heart rule your head. Dating a gay man is a definite no-go area! If you see signs that shows he leans too much to the feminine side, you better ask some serious questions. Some obvious tell-tale signs are: he waxes his eyebrows, spend longer than you in the bathroom and is too affectionate with his boyfriends. Be careful or you could get stung badly.
9. If you’re a man reading this – be upfront with your lady
If you lean towards men but won’t or can’t come to terms with it, be honest with her. Tell her the truth. Don’t have a relationship with her because you’re too embarrassed to face up to who you are. If you marry her, sooner or later the truth will come out. Also consider the children (if there are any involved) they’ll get hurt. It’s best not to get involved with her than to live a lie.
10. Self-development is the key to a brighter future
Self-development also includes spiritual development. Get closer to God as you aspire to develop yourself spiritually. Ladies, use your singleness to improve the overall quality of your life. But put God first. Spend quality time reading and meditating on the word, praying and seeking God. Go the extra mile and get involved in your church. Do you have a talent you’re not using? If you sing, teach or can usher put those gifts to good use. Use them for God. Blessings comes from serving.
Here are some practical self-development steps to take:
- Work on developing your self-confidence and self-esteem.
- Think positively.
- Don’t focus on any kind of fears.
- Develop new skills.
- Make exercise a part of your daily regime.
- Have a business idea? Kick-start it into action.
- Declutter your home and decorate it to brighten it up.
- Enrol on a course to gain new knowledge
Improving your life will create an internal peaceful ambiance which will radiate confidence on the outside. It will also attract the right type of people to you. You could even meet the man you desire while fixing up your life.
Make sure you don’t miss part two of this post. Coming soon…
In my eBook ‘Oh Lord… Why Did I Get Married?‘ you’ll learn how to identify to right type of man for you. I will also show you the ones to avoid. This book is packed with valuable information to help you on your single journey. Get your copy here: Oh Lord… Why Did I Get Married.
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