Frank Chase Jr + edited by Coach AbbeyG 

What Do You Know About Men?

Some women never spend the quality time to learn about men and how they function. Never mind the men that don’t fit the muscle-man image. They’re not in the running. Some women become tired and impatient with God and don’t wait for Mr. Right to show up on their doorstep or cross the archway of the Cathedral, because they think time is running out. So in haste, they flip the script and take off on a trek to go where no women have gone before to find their man.

Into the breach of the sea of men women hope Mr. Right sweeps them off their feet into the tunnel of love, Cinderella style. But the women who push ahead without Godly wisdom on their journey into the heart and soul of man-hunting could wake up one morning and realize they’re connected with the wrong Mr. Right. The relationship rides like a roller coaster with ups and downs, twists and turns that sicken both parties on the love boat scene and can quickly turn obscene.

As Dr. Myles Monroe stated, “Where purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable.” If Miss Right does not look for real understanding of the purpose and the power of a man, she will abuse him. Likewise, the man will in turn harm the women if he doesn’t know the purpose of a woman, which is his missing rib God used to create wo-man. Adam is just like a man today; when he saw Eve, he said, Woo, Man!

In our society today, the roles have changed from a man finding a woman to a woman finding a man. The prescription the Word of God lays out about this topic is the opposite of what we see in relationships between men and women today. The Word says in proverbs18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” NKJV. It appears that some women, for one reason or another, decided to say, “I can no longer wait for God or the man to follow the text God spoke to him.” And I would agree with you that many men have backed off their calling because some women become the aggressors and press men for commitment and scare them and their china-fragile ego.

However, men should not pay attention to roles, but pursue destiny in relationships with women. No more role-playing. Men need to sweep women into the vision of God’s ordained relationship with purpose, passion, and principle.

Let Your Boaz Find You!!!
With purpose, a woman must allow the man to find her. The man knows he should love his wife as Christ loved the Church. So women, let your Boaz find you.

With passion, women must embellish their man’s ego to build him up.

Then the man feels comfortable expressing buried emotions other than through sex. With principle, women must not be afraid of submission but understand what real biblical submission means and not what Mama or girlfriend’s interpretation says it means. Men must be vulnerable with their wives and girlfriends and not hide truth. Hiding is not a real relationship.

God did not make a mistake when he told man that if he finds a wife, he finds a good thing and obtains favor with the Lord.

This scripture has now become, “She who finds a husband finds a good thing and obtains favor from the opinions of the Sistas’ in the Lord.”

When this flip-flop takes place, it leaves no incentive for men who want to marry to follow their destiny to marriage. This often leaves men and women vulnerable to hurt and bitterness. And because men’s egos are so fragile, they become uncommitted and distant after reviewing a woman’s unrealistic laundry list of qualifications designed for Mr. Right to fit into like a mold.

God defines the man, and the man finds and complements the woman. Women must see themselves as precious treasures for men to find and appreciate. Women are gifts and presents presented by God to the searching man. As a gift, a woman is a delight, a pleasure, a bundle of kindness, and in Biblical terms, she’s a Proverbs 31 woman.

If the woman unwraps the gift to whom she thinks is her Mr. Right because of following the traditional ways of a woman finding a man, then chaos and confusion result.

That positions a man and a woman in circumstances that God never intended for them to face. If a Godly man who’s got his life together finds a good and Godly woman and puts all his cards (emotions, finances, truth, and heart) on the table, and the woman comes along and puts all the same on the table, then relationships can work out for the good. However, if either party withholds information that has potential damaging effects to the relationship and some fact surfaces later, it’s usually the man that views it as an unfair exchange in his mind and runs for the hills with a broken heart while leaving a brokenhearted woman behind.

However immature that seems, we know men mature much later in life. So I can tell you, he will retreat and become like Captain Kirk from Star Trek and say, “Beam me up, Scotty. There are no Proverbs 31 women down here.” A woman must bring something other than her bills for a man to pay off to the table of marriage. And to balance that out, men need to have their act together also and not be leaches on women who have financial status, casting aside feelings of threat and not measuring up. Women must not allow themselves to become giveaways.

To be continued! Look out for PART 3 and conclusion. You don’t want to miss it …

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